Befriending Ourselves

I have said before and always known that I am my own worst enemy.  Somewhere along my journey I developed a lot of personal criticism.  Maybe you know it...that nasty voice that tells you to stay home, don't try, don't even bother...

I really only became mindful of this voice about four or five years ago and every since has been a journey to turn down its volume.  This year I'd like to have more self-compassion.  And like anything else, I have to practice. 

When I was younger, I wouldn't participate in anything in which I couldn't excel.  How dumb.  Now in my adult/parenthood I think it's great for my spirit to try any and all things because I have an interest...even better if I'm not that good...it reminds me of my humaness and at the end of the day, what does it really matter anyway?

We're all like a beautiful garden that doesn't need anything else planted or added, it just needs cleaned up, cut back and have the weeds removed every once in awhile.

A lot of time I think I need something in order to do something else. But I had this realization yesterday that I am fully equipped to do whatever it is that I'd like to do...I do need more of anything...I just need less of those qualities that hold me back...self doubt, anxiety and fear to name the biggies.

What great news!!  Suddenly I realize that I've created every hurdle in my path-my rigidity is the problem, not my circumstances. 

It's Day Seven of the detox and I hope that the elimination of coffee and abundant sugar is reason for all this "mental clarity" and focus.  I can't remember a time in my life when I could remember, think and create so easily.  I have suspected that sugar and coffee exacerbate my existing anxiety but now I have proof!

It's also quite amazing to realize how much a slave I was to those substances!  Gum included.  Just...let...go.  I feel such a sense of freedom.  And I'm sleeping so well...so restfully.

I'm eager to see how much better I can feel after another week!