Sunday, February 5, 2012

Happy New Year

Time and its relative speed never cease to amaze me. I believe time flies when I'm spending too much time in anticipation and not savoring each moment of my life.

So much has happened in the amount of time that I haven't written.  I stopped writing at the height of my training for the ING New York City Marathon when I started to feel consistent, moderate pain in my right hip.  I was afraid of putting any of that pain in writing because I wanted to hold onto my denial for as long as possible.

The only thing more difficult for a runner than running a marathon is not running a marathon.  What a strange and wonderful journey I took through the fall/winter of 2011.  I experienced every single emotion when I realized that the marathon, let alone running period, was just not an option.

In the process of medical care for my hip, my doctor discovered another issue that required surgery, which meant even more stillness, rest and even the inability to work for a brief period.

It was during my period of stillness that I experienced a number of invaluable self-discoveries.  I was fully in the moment, fully aware.  I was the most still I had been since the birth of my son.  I realize the challenge for me is never to make the time or commitment to exercise or even move more, the challenge has always been not only to be still but discover what I can learn about myself in that stillness.

Energy begets energy and sometimes the last thing I need is more energy.  During my extended holiday my body and mind were at ease.  I felt the healthiest I ever have both inside and out.  I experienced what I believed all along: that wellness starts within and only then can move outward to the physical self.  What I didn't realize was how much I "needed" internally...awareness, stillness and intention.

When I returned to work (and exercise) I had never felt, looked and thought better.  My approach to my schedule, especially exercise, is very different.  Quality over quantity and a re-structuring of priorities.  I still have a wonderful love affair with exercise, particularly running.  But it's no longer co-dependent.

Little did I know the restful, inactive period prepared me for a few major happenings in my life that have catapulted me to a whole new chapter:  passing a highly regarded certification exam and breaking through some fear and apprehension into self-employment :)

The passion for what I do is stronger than ever.  The universe has certainly put me where I will be most useful to others.  2012 has already proven to be an exciting year.  I can only imagine what the other 11 months will bring.  As long as I'm rested, aware, in the moment and willing, good or bad or indifferent,  I'll welcome it.

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