Change, change and more change!

I am a creature of habit. I like my routine. I like my immediate, personal surroundings to have some sort of consistency. When people, places, and even my internal climates are consistent and familiar, I feel safe.

Safety. And what benefit to I get from feeling "safe" all the time? Well, I feel secure and comfortable for starters. But I've learned that feeling comfortable isn't always what ife is about. Infact, some of the most uncomfortable times in my life have led to the most rewarding gifts. Safety doesn't lead to new relationships, new jobs, or the ever profound emotional growth that had elluded me so for so long.

The more I "grow up" the more I realize my desire to control things around me in my immediate circle. It could be anything from how it feels when I exercise to what time I put my son to sleep at night. When these circumstances deviate from their familar path, I can get freaked out or anxious. It's that simple.

So the answer for me here is acceptance and mindfulness. Things are always the way they are because they are! And the greatest blessing is that most of the time it really has nothing to do with me! Thank GOD! I've learned...hmm, honestly I'm learning...to live in the moment with whatever circumstance, feeling, weather pattern exists. The more I wish something is different, the more anxious and resentful I can be.

I am more resilient, at peace when I can accept the current circumstances or my feelings and have faith that they-whatever "they or it" is, good or bad- will pass. There is opportunity to learn all...the...time.

Stepping of my comfort zone and taking risks is a learned behavior that still doesn't come easy for me. I have to practice taking risks in other areas of my life. The marathon is such a great example.

Speaking of long endurance evens, I've wanted to do a triathlon since I can remember. A great tool I've learned to nudge myself out of the comfort zone is to just implement some accountability. In short, I'm signing up for the 2011 Pittsburgh Triathlon. Next year will be the year. I'll just sign up! It's a small step of many...but it's the first.

Cheers :)