Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Little Dose of Exercise

Boy am I grateful for exercise.  I was running outside the other day in between clients.  I wasn't having the best day.  At one point I could feel my perspective shift from one direction to the other, which started  a cascade of gratitude for my ability and desire to exercise.

Exercise was literally the first way in which I learned how to "take care" of myself....at least physically.  I always knew that I was doing something good for myself and in some way, it made any particular circumstance better.  I had always had a tendency to build up emotions with no idea of how to filter, channel or deal with them.  I started to learn via exercise.  I learned that exercise was a means of relief.

By now I have learned how to take care of myself in many other ways...mental and emotional.  And trust me, I'm still learning.  But every lesson becomes more clear to me by ways of exercise.  I don't always feel like heading our for a run or going to a yoga class or picking up the weights....but those are the workouts that create the most changes.  It's the same in other areas too.  For many years I avoided any difficult internal work ...I even denied that any work was needed!  Now I have come to sit through the storm and have faith that:

1)  NO emotion or feeling lasts forever.
2)  Discomfort usually means growth (as long as no major harm or injury is occuring).


Oy....always working on something.  Keep calm and carry on! 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Dancing Outside My Comfort Zone

Ahh the comfort zone.  I love it in there.  It's cozy and famililar.  My expectations are met.  My rules are followed.  I can sit in there for days and days and days....the only problem is when I stay there for too long, nothing changes.  No miracles happen.  I have no spiritual awakenings, experience no breakthroughs, I don't get better at anything be it my job, my relationships, running or parenting.

I have learned the most difficult periods in my life have also offered the most opportunity for growth.  Period.  It doesn't make the difficulty any shorter or less painful, but I have developed a tolerance and a strong faith that I will be a much better version of myself at the inevitable light at the end of the tunnel.

I have made a habit of purposefully doing things that make me uncomfortable.  I remember as a child if I tried something and I wasn't immediately good at it, I thought that meant I never would be therefore I wouldn't continue.  I never did anything that I couldn't do well.  I never understood patience or humility...all of which came to me through the difficult periods in my my life (Thank God!!). 

A few years ago I signed up to run my first marathon...around the time I started this blog.  Thay marathon was such a great story of my life.  I was terrified.  Despite the fact I had been running my entire life.  Terrified.  But I signed up anyway.  I ran one day at a time.  My training was not perfect, not even close.  I wasn't fully prepared; I didn't take the time to learn about hydration or the fact that I should wear shoes a size and a half bigger than my feet.  I only ran two "long" runs leading up to the race.  At some point during my training, I surrendered to the idea that it wasn't going to be perfect.  I let go of any expectations I had.  I just wanted to finish...it didn't matter how quickly or how it looked....I just wanted to finish. 

I spent a few months in total anxiety over this race.  The biggest success throughout the whole process was the day I showed up.  I just showed up.  I ran despite my fear and it turned out great.  I ran the whole thing and I did really really well! I learned so much through that experience.

Another dream come true is on the horizon...I am running the New York City marathon in Novermber, another huge honor.  I'm running for Livestrong for a seond time.  It's a huge commitment.  I'm not a fan of fundraising simply because it's hard enough for me to ask for help let alone financial support.  Lots of opportunity for growth here. What a great gift.

Gratitude is the most powerful tool I have to center my mental self. 

I'm excited to share my experience throughout this process.  It's also 6 months away, which is plenty of time to train hard and do well.  After this race, I'm taking a break for bigger things :)

Be well!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Less Thought, More Action

Sometimes I think too much.  Yes, that's possible.  I can think myself into (and mostly out of) just about anything.  One of the many great skills I have learned in my last six years of life is that I can take action despite my fear, insecurity or vulnerability.  I just have to take action.  Usually in the form of one small step.  It's only through the action of taking that step when my fear, insecurity and vulnerability are dissipated and I am just a slight better version of my previous self. 

I have taken many leaps in the last year...real miracles.  I'm at the point where my gratitude is ready to speak a little louder and perhaps I can pay something forward by sharing my experience with those who are interested.  I started this blog a long time ago and the honest truth is I have a very hard time committing to it.  There is something about taking time to sit down and empty my thoughts...in writing.  I ooze vulnerability and and the thought of sharing my honest opinions and experiences can prevent me from doing so.

I had the pleasure of having dinner with two of my greatest friends last night.  They both convinced me to re-committ.  I love you both...this one's for you!!  XOXO

So today I'm just taking action by writing.  Many more to come....

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

One Plus One Equals....

I heard a great line recently that goes soemthing like this:

You can workout everyday, hard and long, and you'll be fit.  But unless you eat healthfully, you won't look it.

It's the harsh truth!  It's a common issue amongst the folks I work with and amongst the general population.  But you figure even if you work out 60 minutes a day, which is what the Dietary Guidelines recommend for weight loss, you're still eating and sedentary for the rest of the time that you're not exercising.  You can completely negate your efforts with an unhealthy diet.  You can also negate your exercise with simply eating too much.  Even too much healthy food will create a calorie excess.

I firmly believe that there is no magic diet or product that works best for weight loss.  I am old-fashioned.  It's about what types of food we choose and how much.  It's about lifestyle choices.  We have to choose a way of eating that we can live with and also that we enjoy!

I use Michael Pollan's wisdom (he's the author of great reads such as The Omnivore's Dilema and Food Rules).  He says eat food, not too much, mostly plants.  Simple, easy and right on as far as I'm concerned.  I'm going to build on this in the coming posts.  I'm always hot on nutrition.  What we put in our body is one of the very few things we CAN control in out lives and it makes such a huge difference in so so many ways.  Stay tuned for more of my passionate nutritional antics :)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

30s Rock

Happy birthday to me!!!

I am full of peace and gratitude today.  Not only have have I had the most wonderful weekend (thank you friends and wonderful husband) but I've been in this constant state of reflection and grace for the last 48 hours.  My twenties were tough, dark sometimes and very tumultuous.  Thos of you who know me, know exactly what I mean.  It's amazing, absolutely amazing for me to think back over the last decade a.nd see how my life has changes, the people in my life has changed, how I've changed.  Amazing.

The last year, the first of the thirtieth decade, was by far, the most humbling, rewarding year of my life.  Above all else I've really gotten to know who I am, where I come from and where I'd like to go (at least set the sail).  I learned how to take care of myself.  Some people will never learn that all-important practice.

The biggest obstacle I find that people, mostly women, have in making themselves a priority is that they feel guilty.  Guilt, guilt, blah.  I can tell you the amount of time I devote to my enrichment, which includes but is not limited to, exercise, cooking, praying, meditating and self-reflection...finding ways to completely disengage from my mental clutter, is far worth the effort.

And you knows who benefits most?  My son, for sure.  my clients, my husband and all the people the matter most in my llife.  My job, my household, and really...I become more available and willing to help other people.  Nurturing my inner self allows me freedom to become selfless.  Such a strange paradox.  But true!

I have so much to look forward to this year.  I've never felt better, been more at peace and so excited for tomorrow.

I love my thrities so far!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Hitting Your Stride

The sun is shining today and it makes SUCH a difference.  The last couple weeks have been very productive in our hosuehold, both personally and collectively.  I have learned that some days and weeks of the month are predisposed to be easier than others.  Other days I feel tired, groggy and just plain lazy.  Instead of wishing I were different in this regard, I've just learned to work with myself a little better to maximize my productivity. 

I really believe it's about managing our energy.  Work a little harder when I feel the extra energy.  Run an extra mile, organize a drawer, finish the new project at work.  And take rest when I need it.  Skip the workout, sleep an extra hour....we all have choices in our daily lives that allow us to take care of ourselves.

So the detox has been over for a few weeks now.  I still haven't chewed gum.  Sugar is definitely back in the daily diet.  I would be lying if I said otherwise.  Progress, not perfection, right?

I've been swimming more and more.  I've never been able to swim with my face in the water (comfortably).  And as we all know, it;s so difficult to re-learn a skill as an adult.  Old habits die hard.  I know this...I make an effort to get in the pool a couple times a week.  All I do is try.  And this morning, my face just naturally found it's way under the water.  It's starting to feel comfortable.  I've always had the same recipe that I re-visit all the time: show up, do the work, have a little faith and celebrate the results.  It's my equation for any new or exisiting task in my life.

SHOW UP:  I have to make time.  An extra hour a week to swim won't suddenly appear.  We will make time for what's important.   Even if I only end up with 15 minutes to swim on Friday, I still took the effort to get there, put on the suit and get in the water.

DO THE WORK:  I have to be willing to learn a different method.  I have to do my homework.  Maybe I need a swim lesson or a friend who can teach me some better skills.  I have to learn, learn some more and then practice.  Repeat.

HAVE FAITH:  I have to believe that what I am trying to do is really possible.  I have to believe in the process and stay consistent, even when when I think my efforts are irrelevant.  I have to ask for help when I need it and believe in the grace of something larger than myself. 

CELEBRATE THE RESULTS:  It is so true that it's not the destination that counts but the journey.  We learn the most about ourselves through struggle, hard work and disappointment.  I have to be prepared to accept whatever the outcome.  So I may not swim the 800 meters with my face in the water.  But I'm sure my swimming skills will improve regardless.  And hey, (hopfully) I'll have completed my first triathlon.  I mean, reason enough to celebrate!

We should all do thing that scare us...it's such an important part of growing up.  Acting despite our fear.  What are you afraid of? 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Embracing Humanness

So tomorrow marks the two-week mark of our friendly "detox."  What a great experence!

Matt and I both have battled serious sugar cravings the last three nights...I'm not sure if it's from habit or circumstance or whatever.  So last night we gave in...we both had a bowl of sorbet.  I've also had a few handfuls of dried cranberries the last couple nights too....not your usual sugar addictive food, I know, but hey this is full disclosure!

The real challenge now comes in moving forward.  I still haven't chewed any gum and I am of the new opinion that gum is just a habit that I don't really need anymore.  I also think that coffee is one thing I can have only every so often....well, we'll see.  I am notorious for thinking I can add something back "occasionally" and then "occasionally" becomes "more frequently" and so on and so forth.

I did feel a little guilty last night...not so much about the content of the food but more so about caving in to the habit of eating before bedtime.  Well, today I'll choose to celebrate my progress and not my perfection!

I am so grateful for my understanding and appreciation of good, nurturing food and what a difference it makes in my life.  Also, how damaging sugar really is and feeling the difference without it.

Moving forward!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Befriending Ourselves

I have said before and always known that I am my own worst enemy.  Somewhere along my journey I developed a lot of personal criticism.  Maybe you know it...that nasty voice that tells you to stay home, don't try, don't even bother...

I really only became mindful of this voice about four or five years ago and every since has been a journey to turn down its volume.  This year I'd like to have more self-compassion.  And like anything else, I have to practice. 

When I was younger, I wouldn't participate in anything in which I couldn't excel.  How dumb.  Now in my adult/parenthood I think it's great for my spirit to try any and all things because I have an interest...even better if I'm not that good...it reminds me of my humaness and at the end of the day, what does it really matter anyway?

We're all like a beautiful garden that doesn't need anything else planted or added, it just needs cleaned up, cut back and have the weeds removed every once in awhile.

A lot of time I think I need something in order to do something else. But I had this realization yesterday that I am fully equipped to do whatever it is that I'd like to do...I do need more of anything...I just need less of those qualities that hold me back...self doubt, anxiety and fear to name the biggies.

What great news!!  Suddenly I realize that I've created every hurdle in my path-my rigidity is the problem, not my circumstances. 

It's Day Seven of the detox and I hope that the elimination of coffee and abundant sugar is reason for all this "mental clarity" and focus.  I can't remember a time in my life when I could remember, think and create so easily.  I have suspected that sugar and coffee exacerbate my existing anxiety but now I have proof!

It's also quite amazing to realize how much a slave I was to those substances!  Gum included.  Just...let...go.  I feel such a sense of freedom.  And I'm sleeping so well...so restfully.

I'm eager to see how much better I can feel after another week!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Up and Running

Well, I feel good.  Three days without chewing gum or any added sugar and I feel like I can accomplish just about anything.  I mean, that's partly true.

I have a mild headache and I'm still pretty irritable.  It feels like all the toxins that were stored in the far recesses of my body are finally finding their way out.  It doesn't feel great.  I know that irritability, headaches and flu-like symptoms are all side effects.  When you give your digestive system a vacation from processed foods and sugar, it's able to really clean out the system.  I already feel lighter and cleaner.

I'm hoping my edginess dissipates over the next week or so. 
This pattern of eating is such great practice for disipline.  It's necessary for me to set boundaries for myself. It's working!  And it's really not about restriction at all.  It's about mindfullness and self nurturing and giving myself what it needs.  So often I feed a hunger that has nothing to do with need of food.

I'm eager to continue.  It's certainly empowering in other areas.
Miss the mangoes though.  And here's Matt with a thought or two...

Day three hasn't been nearly as bad as day 1 & 2...And the positive flow is remarkable.  I'm kind of a low-will-power person and I can't see any reason not to do this and see it through.  I feel better and the person I see in the mirror is --pick a cliche-- more alive...

Nicole does a wonderful job making sure this process is fun and full of good food.  I couldn't do this without her dedication.  I'm too fearful to start, too lazy to cook all that she does and too wishy-washy to push it through, but with her, it's easy to have a partner in this silly game.

At least the caffine/sugar-withdrawl headaches are receeding...but seriously, I'd quit tobacco everyday over the withdrawl from caffine and sugar and whatever else, my body is screaming out for...

Goodnight Moon!

Friday, January 7, 2011

And Away We Go

Matt just went to lie down and I quote, "Nothing quite like a sugar and caffeine withdrawl headache...
Need I say more..."

I'm so proud of him...

I can count on one hand the number of days since the age of 15 that I haven't chewed gum.  Today was one of those days.  I can't believe I did it, quite frankly.  My cravings to chew a piece of gum must have numbersd in the dozens today.  And not eating anything sweet after dinner?  Nuts.

I totally commiserate with the millions of people who attempt dieting.  It's. So. Hard.  You have to change your habits, your attention, your whole relationship with food.  All I know is the first step is attention and mindfulness.  If you can master your attention then you can master the universe.  Well, your own personal universe, that is.

I want a piece of gum.  I need a piece of gum.  I am so used to popping a piece of gum into my mouth after I eat.  I have ran many many miles while chewing a piece of gum.  I need gum because my mind is so used to having it.  Go figure.  Distraction, breathing...it really does work.  And you know what?  I Don't need that piece of gum.  It's the end of the day and the earth is still spinning and I'm still here.
I'm eager to break this habit.

I have a bit of a headache and I'm a little cranky.  Otherwise, I already feel better.  Plenty of energy even without the coffee.  We ate quite good food.  I feel nourished.  And certainly accomplished.
If we can overcome ourselves, we can overcome anything.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

You can't clean the floor with a dirty mop!

Happy New Year, 2011!
My family and I just returned from a week-long vacation in Florida. Lots of sun, lots of vacation and lots of indulgence! This of course, was Christmas #2. And really, despite my profession and level of training I usually loosen my clean habits quite a bit after Thanksgiving. This year was quite loose. Maybe it was the huge release after my nuptuals at the end of the September.

Regardless of the intricate rationale, my body has certainly had enough and I am ready to return to my natural, clean roots. I decided to eat an elimination diet for two weeks followed by a longer abstinance of all that haunts me: chocolate, gum and even dried mangoes. The next few weeks will also include, more meditation, yoga, journaling and reflection. Less media, input, and inflammation.

And in no small order, my husband has decided to join me.
I cannot articulate how eager I am to get started. I'm not worried too much except maybe a bit about the no gum part...I am sure that all the artificial sweeteners in the gum that I chew has added up and poisoned by brain (so that's what's wrong!!!). Also, I will miss the coffee first thing in the morning.

But it's not about what I'm taking away. It's what I'll gain: energy, insight and more love and compassion for my physical self. We should all treat ourselves to the highest qualities we can.

Alright, didn't do so well getting to bed early...progress not perfection I suppose. And now a word from the Title sponsor...

This is the husband...and I quote...

"Counter any symptoms of comfort-food withdrawal with creative snacks. Try 'baklava oatmeal'. "
Um, no, I'm not going to try that...I like Baklava and I kinda like oatmeal...but never in my wildest "creative snack" would I put those two together...

By the way I've chewed tobacco for 16.5 years and while its been on and off since 2008, we all know its been more on. So its been a week (cause I'm good like that) and the cravings are just hitting. And now no sugar. Or Beer. Or coffee. At least there's almond milk! (which IS GREAT. If you're not off the dairy, you're missing it)

So enjoy my tobacco-induced comfort-food withdrawal over the next couple of weeks and if anyone has any ideas on "creative snacks", please let me know.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Change, change and more change!

I am a creature of habit. I like my routine. I like my immediate, personal surroundings to have some sort of consistency. When people, places, and even my internal climates are consistent and familiar, I feel safe.

Safety. And what benefit to I get from feeling "safe" all the time? Well, I feel secure and comfortable for starters. But I've learned that feeling comfortable isn't always what ife is about. Infact, some of the most uncomfortable times in my life have led to the most rewarding gifts. Safety doesn't lead to new relationships, new jobs, or the ever profound emotional growth that had elluded me so for so long.

The more I "grow up" the more I realize my desire to control things around me in my immediate circle. It could be anything from how it feels when I exercise to what time I put my son to sleep at night. When these circumstances deviate from their familar path, I can get freaked out or anxious. It's that simple.

So the answer for me here is acceptance and mindfulness. Things are always the way they are because they are! And the greatest blessing is that most of the time it really has nothing to do with me! Thank GOD! I've learned...hmm, honestly I'm learning...to live in the moment with whatever circumstance, feeling, weather pattern exists. The more I wish something is different, the more anxious and resentful I can be.

I am more resilient, at peace when I can accept the current circumstances or my feelings and have faith that they-whatever "they or it" is, good or bad- will pass. There is opportunity to learn all...the...time.

Stepping of my comfort zone and taking risks is a learned behavior that still doesn't come easy for me. I have to practice taking risks in other areas of my life. The marathon is such a great example.

Speaking of long endurance evens, I've wanted to do a triathlon since I can remember. A great tool I've learned to nudge myself out of the comfort zone is to just implement some accountability. In short, I'm signing up for the 2011 Pittsburgh Triathlon. Next year will be the year. I'll just sign up! It's a small step of many...but it's the first.

Cheers :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Changing Our Sails

Well, let's just say I didn't welcome the darkness and cold this morning at all. For whatever reason I've had a hard time this autumn waking up in the early morning darkness. And I was even more cranky this morning when I left the house to walk the dogs and my hands instantly froze.

Fifteen minutes later in the car I recognized my cranky mood and quickly re-adjusted my attitude. By now I know it's a waste of my energy to get upset about something I can't control and weather is one of the best examples.

What a great skill I've learned over the years: recognizing when I'm headed down a cranky path and having enough awareness to stop, take inventory, pray and/or meditate and take actions toward a better emotional direction.
Sometimes this is hard to do regardless of how much practice I've had.

Acceptance is really the answer to all of my problems. Any time I'm discontent, it's usually because I cannot or will not accept something about some person, situation or thing. As someone else once said, we cannot change the wind, but we can change our sails. Have you ever tried to run against the wind? Not fun!

The last couple years of my life I've really tried hard to concentrate on the areas of my life that I have the most control: diet, exercise, sleep, my job, and my interpersonal relationships.
It's worked out pretty well. A lot of my relationships are so much better these days and mostly because I changed. Funny how that works!

Here's to many years of growth, adaptation and plenty of ACCEPTANCE!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Less thought, more action!

Back to basics! You start with a goal then devise a plan to get you there. I have so many bursting ideas in my head but they are useless if they stay up there! Words mean nothing without action!

Friday, March 13, 2009

So a few months ago I decided to train for the Pittsburgh marathon this May. I'm an avid runner but had never gone further than 6 or 7 miles. The decision was born from the idea of choosing a lofty goal, something I had never done before, and actually sticking to it...planning it carefully and really seeing it through.

A lot of times, running or working out in is very analogous to the rest of my life. I was running this morning, an easy 8 miles or so, and I was reflecting on how good it felt and also how it didn't always feel so easy...

Rewind to spring of 2007: I was eager to get moving again after I gave birth to my son, I couldn't wait to return to good physical condition and I just remember how HARD it was at first. Everything hurt from the inside out. It was painful and very very frustrating. All I could run in the beginning was a meager 10 minutes or so, and I looked and sounded horrible!

But I just keep going, despite my frustration, despite my achey knees, despite my insecurity. I kept at it, one day at a time, one mile at a time until it felt good again. and thank God I did.

I'm really starting to apply this principle everywhere else in my life. I don't want to give up on somthing just because it's hard or painful or because I'm afraid of what others might think. Or maybe I can't stand the fear of not knowing the outcome or even getting exactly it is that I want!

The best rewards in life are seldom easy. We can have a vision, an intention, a dream; we can follow it with some action and do the work, even when we don't feel like it; have some faith and accept the outcome.

Simple, not always easy.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Become Significant to Yourself!

Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously.
You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest.
You know what to get worked up about, and what to get rid of.
And you know when it's time to take care of yourself, for yourself.
To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete.
Because you know it's never to late to have a life.
And never too late to change one.
JUST DO IT!

The fantastic message above is from an old Nike ad years ago. I couldn't have said it better myself...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Persevering through the storm...

Having gone through some difficult changes recently, I realize how easy it is to escape the feelings that come along with that difficulty.
But I don't give up and I don't let go. Working through the hard stuff- whether it be hurt, abandonment, disappointment, mistakes, loss, grief, mood swings - creates character and hope. We become better people as a result. Work through it, not around it and especially do everything you can to feel it. Emotions are a necessary fact of life...even when they suck!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Excuses

I can make excuses for anything. I can justify anything. I can make any decision of mine seem "right" just because I want to be right and because I want to do what I want to do. But every time I head down that path of making excuses I come right back to the reality of personal responsibility.

I am the maker and creator of my life. If there is something about my life that makes me uphappy, it's my responsibility to change it. I'm not saying these changes are ever easy or quick, but they are in my own realm of control.

A lot of times when I'm miserable about something, it's a result of my own doing. It's very empowering to understand that I'm the director of my movie and the one place in the universe where I have control is myself.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

It's time...

Well, I finally made my way back to my blog. It was a quick summer and I hope everyone enjoyed their sunny season as much as possible. It certainly was great weather here in Pittsburgh!

Life has certainly moved forward, positively for me, however my blog did not! Although, my procrastination certainly creates a topic!

Have you ever had a friend with whom you slightly lost touch? Then you don't call him or her each time you have a minute because you figure a minute is not long enough to catch up...then events build up in your life and you figure you need way longer than minutes to have a conversation, but before you know it, time passes and you're way out of touch!

The point is, there are so many minutes in a day and unfortuneatly we cannot create more time. The goal is to spend our time as best we can, however we see fit for ourselves. At the end of the day no one else can take care of us or our children. We are responsible for our lives. We choose the type of day we have no matter what happens within it and more importantly, how we react.

Today I choose to share my experiences and try and help others more than I did yesterday. Keep me posted on summer adventures, let's enjoy this day as best we can and look forward to fall...my favorite season!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Mind Over...Madness?

Hello, fitness friends! We've all heard of the power of positive thinking but how many of us actually put that into practice? Lately in my line of work, I've been realizing just how important it is to prepare your mind first and foremost before accomplishing any goal!

The first assessment I make with new clients is where they are mentally, in terms of how much they believe in themseves and their ability to make changes. When we want something, a new job, a raise, healthly relationships, getting pregnant, we have to imagine it first, visualize it, before we can take action to make it happen. If I'm constantly saying things to myself like, "I can't lose weight no matter what I do or how I eat" or "I've always been this way and I'll never change" then nothing will change.

If we always do what we always did then we will always get what we always got.

If we truly believe something can happen, really belive it, have faith, then we naturally take steps to get ourselves to that end. This is really amazing. And simple! Try it!

It's no wonder why people who are sick a lot tend to stay sick. Negative people breed more negativity. The greatest thing about this phenomenon is that we can choose ourattitude and out disposition. So why not try a positive attitude and start visualizing your goals?! It works!